Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Young Hot and Sexy Charitible Giving

Wouldn't it be nice if other's treated you as well as pandora. I was playing ambient music while I was working online and suddenly heard music that pulled me out of my work and I couldn't concentrate.

I clicked on the thumbs down button and got a polite message that said, "We're sorry about that. You will never have to hear that song again."

Wow! Thanks I thought. What if more companies were as user friendly and considerate of my personal preference. What if there was a phone app on your land line that you could click during a charity solicitation call. "We're the Young and Sexy Fire Fighers. Make America Bootyful fund. Our Credit may suck but our buns are hot!" You immediately go to their website and see these fire fighters look good in their new uniforms. You click the thumbs up and soon you are getting calls from Young, Hot and Sexy Police Officers, Young Hot and Sexy Nurses.

"Give to the Young Hot and Sexy Programmers fund" my husband says coding across the room as he suductively lifts his pant leg above his ankle.

Can't answer any calls right now. Got to go!

Who gets a thumbs up on your calls wanted list?


For people who also want a phone app to screen solicitations :-)
Ruth Anne Wood © 2009 Scripting for Success

Monday, December 14, 2009

Elevator Speech

As we were walking towards the elevator at the end of a business networking event I was about to get on the elevator. A guy I coincidentally bumped into on the ride up now made his way across the room to leave became friendly and started telling me what he did. I decided to return the favor and give him my elevator speech.

As we were getting on the elevator, he looked at his watch and reminded me, "You know, this building only has three floors."

"We'll in that cases," I said jokingly, "let's take the stairs and I can let you know about my business at your own pace."

We get to the staircase and he starts to sprint out of sight!

Do you have your 30 second elevator speech ready to go?
Ruth Anne Wood © 2009 Scripting for Success

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Turkey Chuckle

Henry, why are free range Turkeys so much more expensive than then their hormone induced counterparts?

Gee, I don't know George.

Because they charge you for roaming!

Happy Thanksgiving!


© 2009 Scripting for Success Ruth Anne Wood
Written for people who enjoy free range Turkey

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Meteor Shower On Facebook

Under the stars my husband alerted me that he was a facebook fan of the Leonid Meteor Shower 2009- said to be Biggest Meteor Shower of the Modern Age. There were:

-216,575 Maybe Attending

-589,948 who had not replied

and

-303,134 Not Attending

This bothered Jason since they were on the same planet, so he thought.
If they were attending where would they be instead?

New Parents

NEW MOTHER: Honey, the baby smells like you?

NEW FATHER: Awe, that's the sweetest...

NEW MOTHER: You change it!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Holiday Giving for HORO Reporters

WIFE: Ah, it's winter holiday time at HORO "Help a Reporter Out"

HUSBAND: How's that?

WIFE: The Philadelphia Inquirer wants stories on "The Joys (and Dangers) of Re-gifting

HUSBAND: You know what you've gotta to do?

WIFE: What?

HUSBAND: It's fair game to send them a republished article

WIFE: Ugg, lol!

© 2009 Scripting for Success Ruth Anne Wood
For Media Types Who Live Getting Paid to Regift Great Content

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Long Stemmed White Roses

Years ago it was spring time and I was feeling lonely and down and out. I had missed my Sunday morning routine and I wanted to be around friendly people. Then I had this idea. I wanted to honor my friends who I ate lunch with on Sunday, mostly women between my mother and grandmothers' age were my "adopted" family. I wanted to do something nice for them. I had the good fortune of Eureka! I'll get them flowers! I entered the restaurant where they all sat laughing and smiling with my arms filled with not one but two dozen long stemmed white roses and began handing flowers out to them one by one. With a look of delight and distant memories my elders began sharing stories of Father returning home from a business trip and would bring home a long stemmed rose for her and her mother. Another woman proudly said she had one red rose and one yellow one dried at home and this would be a perfect trio.

Lunch ended and we hugged and parted. I was feeling so much better. Yet, I still had a dozen long stemmed white roses in my hands. Instead of going to my car on this sunny day, I walked to the local market and handed my friend at the register a gift. "I'm celebrating women's beauty. Have a flower", the words spontaneously formed in my mouth. Not bad for someone feeling ugly and depressed hours earlier. Then I was crossing the street and saw a lovely lady in her Sunday best. "Here, I'm celebrating women's beauty," the powerful words poured from my lips again. "Have a rose." She smiled and received it. This was so much fun.

Next I went to a friend's house who I knew was having a challenging time and dropped off some flowers at her doorstep with an up beat note about celebrating beautiful women. This was becoming an adventure, a mission really. I had more girl friends up town and I enthusiastically went to my favorite shop that had massage, meditation, and sold pretty things including musical instruments, stones and jewellery. They even offered therapeutic massage. To my surprise the shop was closed and there were no ladies in sight. I had interrupted a men's support group, oops! I recognized a couple of the men as friends in my town. Boldly and impishly I said "I'm celebrating women's beauty today have a rose." Each man graciously received their gift and leaned over and gave me a loving hug. Wow, I thought this flower power really works!