Infirmary or Affirmary?

The year I graduated high school I worked at a holistic summer camp for adults for two and a half months , called Omega Institute up in Rhinebeck, NY where they had daily yoga, meditation, organic gourmet food and renowned speakers on mind, body and spirit come and teach. For two and half months I slept in a tent in the woods staked on a soft bail of hay. I was a float so I had the experience of working in the café, house keeping, and production. That year there had been a large population of lime ticks. One day I noticed a strange black spot surrounded by a red circle on my arm and choose to get medical attention to make sure I was O.K. When I got there, I told a staff member about the spot on my arm.

Across the room they said. “Oh, you’re O.K. Everything is just fine.”

“Great, I said, do you want to look at it closer?”

“Oh,” she said, “you may want to go to the Infirmary. This is the Affirmary, where we affirm your well being.”

The good news is when I finally did get to the Infirmary, they gave me pretty much the same answer.

© 2008 Ruth Anne Wood, Scripting For Success
Story Written for Oprah

I'm Not A Comedian But I tell Jokes In Real Life

For years I had secretly imagined myself writing bits for mostly male comics and gravitated to Robin William, Seinfeld, Steve Martin, Jay Leno, Steven Colbert, George Carlin, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle and Dinnis Miller. I'm almost embarassed to say my worst inner critic distinctly sounds like Jim Carrey.

My earlier comical female influences included Goldie Hawn, Woopie Goldberg, Lily Tomlin, Bette Midler and just in general my all time favorite lady, Meryl Streep. I loved the way these people boldly framed the world through their distinct perspective.

Recently, I had a wake up call to the new generation of comics who had slipped my radar since dare I say, my husband and I unplugged our TV over a year ago. Hey that's what You Tube is for, right? While writing the opening scene for my screenplay "Five Rites" (where the leading lady gives a light hearted speech to her family the day she introduces her fiancé) I began researching female comics. A whole new world of humor and style opened up for me.

Over the last three years my own comic voice has come through as I've actively taken the funny , insightful moments in my life and jotted them down in a sketch comedy format. Lately my husband has been encouraging me to "put it in the joke file"

Then it dawned on me, I am writing for my favorite comics as I went back and wrote in their voice I heard in my head. Now that's comedy. So I'm starting a movement to maintain or restore sanity. It's called write your story down and then assign a comedian who would be great at telling your story as if it were their own.