My Favorite Things

On your birthday this month, I thought you'd get a kick out of the item
below--and hope that you get to enjoy your special day!

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Birthday song for you

To commemorate her 69th birthday, actress/vocalist Julie Andrews
made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall
for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed
was "My Favorite Things" from the legendary movie, THE SOUND
OF MUSIC.

However, the lyrics of the song were deliberately changed for the
entertainment of her audience. Here are the lyrics she recited:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillacs, cataracts, open back "dresses,"
Polident, Fi xodent, false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break, When the eyes grow dim,
It's then I remember the great life I've had, And then I don't feel so bad.

THE RESPONSE:
Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes, and she also was asked for and gave repeated encores.

MY TWO CENTS:
I imagine that the above did not take place for a few minutes; i.e., until
all had a chance to rise from their seats. (After you reach a certain age,
it does take longer to stand up after sitting.)

***** PLEASE NOTE *****

Above was originally run in BLAINESWORLD, my weekly newsletter . . . if you're not getting it and want to be added to FREE mailing list, send an email to bginbc@aol.com and put SUBSCRIPTION in subject line . . . you'll get similar messages, jokes, websites, reviews, etc. . . . new readers are always welcome, so also feel free to mention this missive to your friends.