"Enjoy the jokes…
* If you’re choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
* Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
* Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
* For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer!
* A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
* If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.
* You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. if it doesn’t move and should, use the wd-40. if it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
* Remember - everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
* If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem."
Written/ posted by James
Ruth Anne Wood ©2009 Scripting for Success
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