"Simply Amazing Home Remedies"

"Enjoy the jokes…

* If you’re choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
* Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
* Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
* For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer!
* A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
* If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.
* You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. if it doesn’t move and should, use the wd-40. if it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
* Remember - everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
* If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem."

Written/ posted by James

Ruth Anne Wood ©2009 Scripting for Success

Comedy Divine: Timing, Proper Planning or Both?

You never know what marketing, social networking and posting your enlightened comedy on enlightenedjokes.com will set in motion.

Here is a great reminder of the power of planning and "divine" timing.

I use to think I was a bad business owner. It turned out I was just bad at marketing. Something exciting changed in my business when I realized two things:

I needed to dedicate at least 20% of my time marketing every week. Constant marketing and relationship building is the life line of a healthy. growing, thriving business and two nine million people are searching for joke and funny stories every month. Many of these people are business people online looking relief from a stressful job or the challenges of being an entrepreneur.

This is where you come in. Be their source of relief. Make them laugh or cry with laughter at the funny things that go on in your industry. You don't need to be a stand up comic, just someone with simple insights about the comedy in your professional world or industry.

Day 1: Quest for the Enlightened Comic

JAY LENO: My next guest went in search for an Enlightened Comic, you know someone who doesn't peeper their jokes with judgments or complaints- (Beat.) I know. I know, and instead focuses on personal feelings and experiences, perhaps a Seinfeld without the sarcasm. She first did a Google search for jokes by the Dalai Lamai, and couldn't find any.

Here's my suggestion. In addition to giving lectures on promoting peace through compassion, why not bill His Holiness as the Enlightened Comic. Unsuspecting fans would tune into Late Night to get a blast of spiritually uplifting humor before drifting off to deep meditation.

So who will host His Holiness, Dalai Lama (14th) -Tenzin Gyatso as the Enlightened Comic first? Should it be me, Dave Letterman, Conan O'Brian, Jon Stewart, Craig Ferguson, Stephen Colbert or my next guest who has been dubbed as "The Writer of Our Lives" and has written a book with a blind figure skater. Please welcome the very talented young lady, Ruth Anne Wood.

For Fans of the Dalai Lama
© 2008 Ruth Anne Wood, Scripting For Success
Written for Jay Leno